I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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