If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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