That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
