dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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