Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
