im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
