He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
