Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
