is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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