it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
