I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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