i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My cat gives me a boner
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Randomize
