btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
