I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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