pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
