i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
