I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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