no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Randomize
