i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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