the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
