How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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