ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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