the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
"it" just moved
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she peed on how many people?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
