dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I don't think brook has ever known best
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
