Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
someone threw a dead crab at me
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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