You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
