just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I am naked and annoyed.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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