his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
