I just cut my nipple shaving
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
