Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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