I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
