These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
