Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize