Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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