i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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