Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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