Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
