Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
