i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
