it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
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