You don't have asthma, your pregnant
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
