omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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