hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
