I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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