dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
