i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
