I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
