So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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