She's JV to your varsity
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
