Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
