we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
