last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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