So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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