My room smells like vodka and shame
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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