His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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