I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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